Posts

Showing posts from November, 2013

Restless

This great guy named C.S. Lewis said, "If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don't recommend Christianity." I'd like to warn you that I couldn't agree more.  I find it funny whenever someone comments on how the faithful people they've met seem to "have it all figured out." I've seen many of my friends struggle in their faith, and personally the last time I felt like I had it all figured out was as an immature 15 year old.  The faith is full of questions and mysteries that I can't understand.  Trusting God's will for me leaves me feeling I have very little control over my own life.  I have to put all my talent and effort into a mission that gives me no instant gratification.  I believe in a God who allows me to suffer, who doesn't even give me the security of seeing Him.  It's painfully uncomfortable.  Yet something keeps me from running back to my comfort zone.
I don't exactly want to be com…

My Fearless Collision (or, a title explaination :)

Fear is one of my biggest enemies.  I'm not afraid of normal things, like spiders or dark alleys or heights.  Ok...maybe I can be, sometimes, but I struggle more with not-so-tangible fears.  There's the fear of change.  Then, when things do change it's fear of the unknown and uncontrollable, wondering how my life will work out.  There's fear of digging deeper in life, finding out the difficult truths, the ones worth shaping your life around.  And there can be fear of exploring ideas, listening to other opinions, maybe losing mine.  I guess ultimately it's the fear of becoming a completely different person.  Nobody likes the idea of losing themselves, of transforming beyond recognition.  Not to mention, becoming who you want to be can be really hard.  But I think maybe life is "becoming," we can't really stop ourselves from growing.  We're surrounded by things that happen, that constantly grow, change, and progress.  It's impossible to build yo…