My Fearless Collision (or, a title explaination :)

Fear is one of my biggest enemies.  I'm not afraid of normal things, like spiders or dark alleys or heights.  Ok...maybe I can be, sometimes, but I struggle more with not-so-tangible fears.  There's the fear of change.  Then, when things do change it's fear of the unknown and uncontrollable, wondering how my life will work out.  There's fear of digging deeper in life, finding out the difficult truths, the ones worth shaping your life around.  And there can be fear of exploring ideas, listening to other opinions, maybe losing mine.  I guess ultimately it's the fear of becoming a completely different person.  Nobody likes the idea of losing themselves, of transforming beyond recognition.  Not to mention, becoming who you want to be can be really hard.  But I think maybe life is "becoming," we can't really stop ourselves from growing.  We're surrounded by things that happen, that constantly grow, change, and progress.  It's impossible to build yourself a bubble of constancy.  I don't want a life or a faith that can be contained in a bubble, anyway. 

The past couple of years have been crazy for me.  I've learned and changed at a sometimes terrifying rate.  I've had so many ideas and experiences churning around in my head.  I recently came up with the image of a collision for that...I've crashed headlong into unexpected people, places, books, thoughts, etc.  And when very real things like these come into contact, the impact changes them, like glass shattering into sparkling pieces. Collisions can be beautiful, but only when they're done right.  For me that means I have to have a purpose.  If I let my circumstances shape me, hoping I come out alright, I most likely won't.  I need a goal in the midst of the collision, and my goal is love.  I mean love as defined by the great theologians, which is wishing and working for someone's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.  I want to become ultimately as amazing as I can be and encourage (literally, en-COURAGE) the people I love to become more amazing as well.

But how can I do that if we're all afraid to say the things that matter? 
I'm starting a blog and I'm starting it because I have a lot to say about things that matter to me. 
I'm slightly uncomfortable with the thought of people reading this, partially because I can't tell if it's going to make sense...and partially because I could imagine they'll be uncomfortable reading it.  Maybe we should all just talk about our friends, or interests: our music, parties, sports, and jokes.  In all seriousness, I certainly don't want anyone to feel obligated to read what I write.  But I think maybe I'm obligated to at least say it.  That way, it's there.  It's there in case anyone else is ready for a collision of thoughts.  It's there in case anyone else wants to see more than the ordinary pieces of life.  It's there in case anyone else wants to become somebody better on purpose. 
And it's out there, so I can remind myself that I will be fearless.   
~Sarah (: